Holidays

When I was a little kid, I remember our family used to watch 'Happy Days' a lot, my Mom and Dad were both born a bit too late to have 'lived in the fifties' although there were both kids during that decade. They loved anything to do with the 1950's the music, the movies, anything.. My Dad always wore his hair in the typical 50's style, combed back with a dick tail.

So it was a foregone conclusion that they loved watching Happy Days, to be fair, I liked the show as well, until they 'jumped the shark' but I think that's typical of any show that goes on too long.

Anyway.. to the point.

There was an episode where the 'cool' character, Fonzie ended up having a can of ravioli by himself on Christmas, and man, that just tore me up. I don't recall if I cried or not, but I know it really upset me.

As a kid, we always celebrated the holidays, every one of them. For me, this was just normal, and I carried that tradition on into adulthood. The last 15+ years though, being married to someone that always cared more about herself than anything else, our 'holidays' were limited to the ones that included her getting gifts, so Mothers Day, Birthday, and Christmas. She was happy to celebrate Christmas, in spite of being very anti-Christian, because it meant she got presents, so as you can imagine, I began to care less and less about holidays.

Since that marriage is now over, I've found myself sometimes alone on holidays, today for example, it's Easter and I definitely believe in God, though I haven't been to a church in many years, I've witnessed actual miracles that have no logical explanation, and so I will NEVER not have faith.

So I thought to myself, how sad I must be to spend holidays alone, but here's the truth of it. I have spent the majority of my live alone, I have lived alone since moving out as a young person, with the exception of the two marriages I had. I've never been as 'cool' as Fonzie, which is why I think it tore me up to see him sitting there heating up a can of ravioli (don't worry, one of the other characters came and rescued him!). In my experience, anytime I have been alone (like today) I have definitely had moments of loneliness (and to be fair, I get invited to spend holidays with what family I have left up here.) but I usually decline, it's hard to be around families, when I don't have my Daughter with me, the happiness of sharing a day with family is overshadowed by the fact that the one person I love more than anything in this universe is God knows where..

So I spend these days alone, I make them useful (vacuumed, did the dishes, going to make a nice steak dinner tonight.) and get ready for the work week that starts tomorrow (yeah, I work for a stingy company that is happy to give days off for Juneteenth, (thanks DEI laugh) but rips us off for any holidays that land on a weekend.)

Overall, it's not bad, I can celebrate these days (and I do.) by myself, it's not like I have to skip them, because I choose to spend them alone, I spend them, I think about past holidays, I think about family who have passed on, and I know it sounds like a depressing way to spend the day, but I promise you, it energizes me to live the best live I can.

What will holidays be like next year? I don't know, but if things go the way the law has decided they should, I don't think I'll be alone much longer.